It's easy to feel like the world is out of your control, to feel in a position where you have no power over the world around you. Or at least it is for me. It's tough to turn a helpless disposition around, and in a society that so values participation and activity, it gives a different perspective to the people who can't help but watch the world from the isolated comforts of their bedrooms.
As a twenty-one year old college student, our winter break spanned from December 18th to January 10th. Leading up to it was exciting to think of all the free time I'd have! No classes, no homework, hell, I didn't even have a job at home anymore. Doesn't that sound great? Yeah, great... The novelty of being home wore thin very quickly. It isn't long until I had exhausted the few things I had at my disposal. What did I do over most of the break? I don't really know. It's all a bit of a blur.
My biggest problem with long stretches of inactivity is that lack of structure breeds laziness and a stark lack of motivation. My life kind of fell apart, and I forgot how to operate as a human being. I found myself sometimes eating just one meal in a day, or staying up incredibly late and waking up in the afternoon for no real reason. On one hand, I saw it as being okay, as this is my period of time to do whatever I wanted and to "relax." On the other, I wasn't happy with my decision, they were just unhealthy things I did because I could. I still moved onto the next day regardless of the unhealthy habits.
It became difficult to start anything that would require effort, and my incredibly stubborn personality certainly didn't help. Regardless of whether the activity would actually be fun or rewarding, it took a large amount of willpower to engage. To illustrate, the top games video itself took about 15 hours to make, including getting the footage I needed. I could have started the first week of break, when Ducky gave me his footage, but it was two weeks before I touched any of it. And despite the hesitation, making it was fun, rewarding. I worked for the better part of two days and got it out and have gotten wonderful feedback and support from it.
So, then, where does Euro Truck come into any of this? Well, in my slump, I found comfort in single player games. To an extent, I can control my experience. Even though it was fun spending time with friends, it was draining. But Euro Truck? There's nothing but me and the road. Nobody to compete with, nothing particularly complicated about it.
It's important to note the difference between Euro Truck Simulator 2 and other "simulator" games. The biggest difference can be found in the title. It's called Euro Truck Simulator 2, and not something like Euro Truck Simulator 2015. In contrast to things like Woodcutting Simulator 2011, Agricultural Simulator 2011, or Crane Simulator 2009, this is a standalone game developed with an idea from the developers. While many shovelware simulator games are cash-grabs by a developer using reused assets to create a simple worthless game, developer SCS Software made a polished and focused game. While the main gameplay is fairly standard for what you'd expect, there's a sense of progression with a goal in mind. You're given options, you're given control.
This game itself is pretty basic, but when I play it, I feel like I'm at least doing something. It's a thing I can do to pass the time. Toss on an album, a podcast, some online videos, and get driving. I embrace the isolation I find myself in, and truck to occupy the time. It's something to do on my own for nobody else but myself. Sure, people can see that I put in around 20 hours in a week or whatever on my steam profile, but I don't have to play games for the satisfaction for the others. I can space out, enjoy whatever I'm listening to and won't have the guilt or dread of feeling "that I should be doing something."
Even though in the grand scope of things, I can see that my progress is all in my head and that I'm not doing anything, there's a sense of progression, accomplishment. I can feel like I'm slowly working towards some objectives, and that with every delivery I'm closer and closer. And that's really the root of it. Because whatever mess I've been dealing with in the day, I can at least find some serenity and satisfaction on the road in a simulated, miniaturized Europe.
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