Thursday, October 31st 2019
House Votes in Approval of Kickball at the Court
Thursday Afternoon, the U.S. House of Representatives voted 232-196 in favor of the resolution implementing the use of a ball-kicking machine in conjunction with a lie detector during testimonies in federal court. The machine looks like a catapult with a shoe at the end, and accelerates upwards to 30 mph in 2 seconds into the junk of the defendant.
The vote was split mostly along party lines with 2 Democrats voting against the measure and 0 Republicans voting for the measure.
Freshman Democrat Jahana Hayes from Connecticut's 5th district is pleased with the outcome. "I'm glad to see that the people of this nation will see justice returning to these courtrooms. The people demand the truth, and the people are really into kicking other people in the balls."
Mississippi Republican Jason Smith voted against the measure along the grounds that they are out of budget and a waste of resources. When asked if he would testify in front of the approved machines, he stated fearlessly: "Not only am I certain the machine would never detect a lie and, thus, never kick me in the balls, my balls are also so tough that I would not feel a thing, rendering the machine useless."
The houses next measure will occur on Friday for a resolution to publicly acknowledge a growing "South-est Dakota."
Saturday, November 2, 2019
Monday, March 20, 2017
I like dumb pop-punk songs, mostly from the early 2000s. Addicted? Hell yes. Fat lip? Definitely one of my favorite songs. I can still enjoy All The Small Things even through all of it's overplay. Music like this was like the chicken nuggets of music to me. They didn't take much skill to make, but I feel like I would enjoy a diet of just that for days on end. I still can. But now that I'm older, I can see things with a different lens. So why Girl All The Bad Guys Want? Well, I can't tell if it's being ironic or not.
Hear me out. What's it about? It's fairly straightforward. It's about a kid who is not cool who's attracted to a girl who is cool. We'll dive more into that later, but that's the premise. It's simple enough, something relateable. Well, I related to it, whenever I heard it. Yeah, I was like that. Nerdy weird kid that was certainly attracted to girls who seemed cool.
Okay, well, maybe not quite as much as this kid. Jumping into the chorus, it seems like he's obsessed with this girl. So much that he feels suicidal that she's not into him. Or at least maybe, it seems like he's going to talk with her, right? At 8 o'clock? That's a commitment. She's obviously interested or he would have never scheduled this phone call. But no, he's just that much in love with her. Why?
--she's a rocker with a nose ring--
Okay, I mean, I guess if that's your thing, but I don't think that's enough to warrant love. What else?
-- she where's a two-way but i'm not quite sure--
Uhhh, if someone wears something that you don't know what it is, why does that attract you? If I told you I wear a anorak, does that excite you? Well it shouldn't cause it's just a jacket. Anything else? Anything that would actually cause excitement or reason to be in love?
-- and when she walks... --
Okay, that's pretty legitimate. This girl might just actually be Jesus Christ. But it does remind me of another song...
-- Trumpets (is it weird that i hear angels everytime you moan) --
So basically you just like her cause she's hot. You like her so much, you want to shoot yourself. But okay, that's obviously being hyperbolic. What else do you have to say? Do you have anything in common?
-- godsmack vs agent orange --
Okay, so probably not going to any concerts together.
-- her cd changes full of singers --
The way you say it makes her sound very lame. It almost sounds like you think your music is more credible than hers. It's like
-- listenin to rap metal--
All right, I'm pretty sure people are gonna give you credit for music tastes. I think the general census, or at least people on the internet will give you more credit for being a fan of early surf-punk than being a fan of Linkin Park. But that's just some people.
I think the song gets weird when he proclaims what she likes.
-- She likes em with a mustache, race track season pass... --
Is this the same girl? I mean, people can have wide interests, but I feel like the kind of person that listens to this -- chop suey -- is not gonna be the kind of person that looks like this. And what's even weirder is when he drops this line:
-- She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have --
Okay, why? What do you have that's so great that she'll never get? Is it cause you're such a nice guy? And all the guys that want her are bad guys? What, are you jealous you can't grow a moustache?
-- I can't grow a mustache --
Uhhh, okay, so you are. Listen, man, I can't grow a mustache either. It's not so bad. You know who else can't? Keanu Reeves. And he's a badass! C'mon, man! It's not so bad! I'm sure you have things that people would really enjoy!
--All I got's a moped--
Uhhhh have you heard Macklemore's latest big hit? Having a moped officially makes you cooler than everyone else in this entire song. The girl, the bad guys, Godsmack, you are officially better than all of them.
Your biggest problem isn't that you can't grow a mustache or that you don't like rap metal. You wanna know what your biggest problem is?
-- Now I'm watching wrestling --
You're trying to be something you're not. And that's not even so bad. Everyone should try new things, at least to discover that they don't like them. What makes it worse is proclaiming that you're the best that she'll never have. Somehow, having only one redeeming quality that's not even related to who you are as a person makes you more deserving than all the bad guys.
Ohhh, I see. I get it now. You can't grow a mustache, can you? Cause all you can grow is a neckbeard?
This song reminds me of "Kristina Doesn't Know I Exist" by Catch-22, a song about a guy that's too shy to talk or even look at a girl in the eyes, and when he sees she has a boyfriend he acts all high and mighty.
The difference is that I'm fairly sure that song was ironic. This one? I'm not so sure. This is a song written by the same people who made "Shut Up and Smile," which parrots this line many times over:
--All we need is some ice cream and a hug--
And I really enjoy that song! It's upbeat, it's poppy. I mean, yeah, it's pretty dumb, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. But this one? Is it a song condemning people trying to be something you're not to get a partner that has no reason to like you? And past that feeling superior to them? Or is it just an experience that the songwriter had. Or just something he saw, who knows.
Bottom line, the biggest problem is that in making something that can relate this kind of person, it further perpetuates this ideology. The sort of person who brags about how they don't watch sports kind of person. The kind of person who would be too afraid to volunteer to help someone and then would find satisfaction knowing that the person is worse off having not called on you for help. And I would know cause I used to be this asshole.
Who knows if this is what Mr. Soup was going for. Something tells me it's not. But if it was, hey, good on you for making a very simple song with a surprisingly intelligent theme. And if not, well, I hope you've grown up some in the past 14 years.
Hear me out. What's it about? It's fairly straightforward. It's about a kid who is not cool who's attracted to a girl who is cool. We'll dive more into that later, but that's the premise. It's simple enough, something relateable. Well, I related to it, whenever I heard it. Yeah, I was like that. Nerdy weird kid that was certainly attracted to girls who seemed cool.
Okay, well, maybe not quite as much as this kid. Jumping into the chorus, it seems like he's obsessed with this girl. So much that he feels suicidal that she's not into him. Or at least maybe, it seems like he's going to talk with her, right? At 8 o'clock? That's a commitment. She's obviously interested or he would have never scheduled this phone call. But no, he's just that much in love with her. Why?
--she's a rocker with a nose ring--
Okay, I mean, I guess if that's your thing, but I don't think that's enough to warrant love. What else?
-- she where's a two-way but i'm not quite sure--
Uhhh, if someone wears something that you don't know what it is, why does that attract you? If I told you I wear a anorak, does that excite you? Well it shouldn't cause it's just a jacket. Anything else? Anything that would actually cause excitement or reason to be in love?
-- and when she walks... --
Okay, that's pretty legitimate. This girl might just actually be Jesus Christ. But it does remind me of another song...
-- Trumpets (is it weird that i hear angels everytime you moan) --
So basically you just like her cause she's hot. You like her so much, you want to shoot yourself. But okay, that's obviously being hyperbolic. What else do you have to say? Do you have anything in common?
-- godsmack vs agent orange --
Okay, so probably not going to any concerts together.
-- her cd changes full of singers --
The way you say it makes her sound very lame. It almost sounds like you think your music is more credible than hers. It's like
-- listenin to rap metal--
All right, I'm pretty sure people are gonna give you credit for music tastes. I think the general census, or at least people on the internet will give you more credit for being a fan of early surf-punk than being a fan of Linkin Park. But that's just some people.
I think the song gets weird when he proclaims what she likes.
-- She likes em with a mustache, race track season pass... --
Is this the same girl? I mean, people can have wide interests, but I feel like the kind of person that listens to this -- chop suey -- is not gonna be the kind of person that looks like this. And what's even weirder is when he drops this line:
-- She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have --
Okay, why? What do you have that's so great that she'll never get? Is it cause you're such a nice guy? And all the guys that want her are bad guys? What, are you jealous you can't grow a moustache?
-- I can't grow a mustache --
Uhhh, okay, so you are. Listen, man, I can't grow a mustache either. It's not so bad. You know who else can't? Keanu Reeves. And he's a badass! C'mon, man! It's not so bad! I'm sure you have things that people would really enjoy!
--All I got's a moped--
Uhhhh have you heard Macklemore's latest big hit? Having a moped officially makes you cooler than everyone else in this entire song. The girl, the bad guys, Godsmack, you are officially better than all of them.
Your biggest problem isn't that you can't grow a mustache or that you don't like rap metal. You wanna know what your biggest problem is?
-- Now I'm watching wrestling --
You're trying to be something you're not. And that's not even so bad. Everyone should try new things, at least to discover that they don't like them. What makes it worse is proclaiming that you're the best that she'll never have. Somehow, having only one redeeming quality that's not even related to who you are as a person makes you more deserving than all the bad guys.
Ohhh, I see. I get it now. You can't grow a mustache, can you? Cause all you can grow is a neckbeard?
This song reminds me of "Kristina Doesn't Know I Exist" by Catch-22, a song about a guy that's too shy to talk or even look at a girl in the eyes, and when he sees she has a boyfriend he acts all high and mighty.
The difference is that I'm fairly sure that song was ironic. This one? I'm not so sure. This is a song written by the same people who made "Shut Up and Smile," which parrots this line many times over:
--All we need is some ice cream and a hug--
And I really enjoy that song! It's upbeat, it's poppy. I mean, yeah, it's pretty dumb, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. But this one? Is it a song condemning people trying to be something you're not to get a partner that has no reason to like you? And past that feeling superior to them? Or is it just an experience that the songwriter had. Or just something he saw, who knows.
Bottom line, the biggest problem is that in making something that can relate this kind of person, it further perpetuates this ideology. The sort of person who brags about how they don't watch sports kind of person. The kind of person who would be too afraid to volunteer to help someone and then would find satisfaction knowing that the person is worse off having not called on you for help. And I would know cause I used to be this asshole.
Who knows if this is what Mr. Soup was going for. Something tells me it's not. But if it was, hey, good on you for making a very simple song with a surprisingly intelligent theme. And if not, well, I hope you've grown up some in the past 14 years.
mirror's edge 2 notes
Mirror's Edge was released in 2007 by EA and Dice to.. mostly positive reviews. It was a decent enough hit that grew sort of a cult following likely due to it being unique in the genre. After a few years, no one really expected a sequel. And then it was announced 8 years later, and Mirror's Edge Catalyst was to be the open world followup.
If you haven't seen our top games lists, I'm a big fan of the first Mirror's Edge. The single player was kinda odd, and the combat sucked, and the story was a bit uninspired, but the running was great! It had a wonderful aesthetic, and some of the best time trials I've ever played in a game. The mechanics and level design built for this wonderful competition between me and a good friend.
Mirror's Edge 2 is a big open world with a lot of side missions and small trials and collectibles and is also kind of a mess. Some things are improved. Some things are not. I think a lot of it is centered around its open world-ness. Collectibles, side missions, and random encounters now litter the rooftops as you ignore important pressing story missions to instead hack billboards.
All right, let's play the- Oh.
To this day, I'm still not sure if making it open world is a good idea or not. Unlike most open world games, you're stuck on rooftops, cutting through hallways, walking on tight ropes, or jumping from building to building. It's very free and fun at first, traversing these rooftops of jungle gym equipment, but with how it's set up, there are some frustrations that never go away. With always being on top of a large building, there is the constant concern of falling off that large building. And enjoying a loading screen. You will spend a lot of time looking at loading screens, something I'll touch more on later. The game doesn't give you a heads up display, which I kind of like as a way to force you to enjoy the skyline and environments and possibly create familiar routes which you'll use to run from point to point of interest, but the map is not built intuitive enough to avoid running into dead ends, or just going in the wrong direction. Runner's vision is a helpful way to avoid constantly checking the map, but then you're always following the same route. The freedom is taken away, and you're just following a line.
Admittedly, the collectibles do wonders for justifying it's open world change. They remind me of Crackdown or Saints Row IV where you're constantly distracted by trying to figure out how to get to a collectible. There are a bunch of different types, but I think the grid leaks are the best ones. I mean, none of them really make sense, but in a "game sense", it's nice to have collectibles you can see from a distance and don't slow you down. The electronic parts are fine, but if you see one in the distance, you don't know if it's already been collected, and every single time you get another one, you see the same animation. Pull of the panel, pull out the chip, look at it, shove it up your butt. Every time, it looks the same. Okay, yeah, I get it. You're pulling it off, yep, okay pick it up, spin it, oh you're getting shot, no matters, look at it, spin it, pull it off, spin it, pick it up, pull it off... It really stops the flow of things in a game about maintaining flow. Again, that's more of a minor thing, cause it's still fun to just collect shit, but still. If some collectibles are glowing, floating balls of "data," I don't need the framing for every single electronic chip. Why am I even taking these? Whatever.
The time trials are back, now termed "dashes." They're a worse implementation of the time trials in the first game. Like, I enjoy that there are a lot of them, but they're just not as good for a few reasons. Firstly, the time between mistake and retry is too long. Like I said before, there is a lot of loading. If you're close enough to the spawn, it'll load without cutting to a loading screen, but that's a rarity. And if you fall off a high enough ledge or fall off the building, it loads to put you back at the ledge you fell off. And if you want to retry and didn't hold retry early enough, you have to wait to load from the death, and then you have to wait to load for the retry. Secondly, you don't know where you're going. Yeah, you have some runner's vision to tell you where you're going, but in the first one, where you had massive beacons of light at multiple checkpoints, now there's one flat circle where you have to end up. You don't know where it is from the beginning, and if you're trying to find the fastest route, it's difficult to tell where you're losing the most time. And yes, I appreciate that it's not obvious what the fastest route is, as finding the best route and optimizing it was the best part of the first one's trials,
but now it's such a pain because all the buildings look kind of samey and unless the run is incredibly straightforward, it's easy to get lost with where you started and where you're going. And because it is just one checkpoint, the dashes themselves aren't as interesting. You're not looping around through the same area, you're just getting to this one point as fast as possible, but it's difficult to do that as you're just re-evaluating the entire race every time.
The movement feels more streamlined than in the first one, which is good and bad. They took out the small tricks for picking up and maintaining speed like side stepping to instantly get to max speed, or the constant jumping and crouching, and they added stuff like vaulting over small ledges which always felt like it slowed me down. But they also took away core mechanics of moving in the first one to add this false sense of progression in the form of an "upgrade tree."
The upgrade tree in this game is the most unnecessary annoying "addition." There are arguably no new upgrades. The movement ones are all either simple tricks or contextual tools. All the tricks are things you could do from the beginning of the first one, like quick turning from a wall, coiling your feet when you jump, or freaking rolling when you hit the ground. All the tools are so contextual that it's not an upgrade, just a key that unlocks a faster door. The hook shot in this game is lame because you can only do it in specific spots. Like, I get that it'd kind of break the game if it could be used anywhere at any time, but Titanfall 2 has a waaaay better hookshot. It just feels like an afterthought. And the idea that you have to arbitrarily unlock things that make it possible to make the game flow better is stupid. It just feels cheap when the only way to three star a dash is through something you unlock later in the game. Upgrades in just simply don't belong and discourage even trying the dashes until you have everything.
Another flavor of side content is one off dashes, either from a machine that yells at you, or from people that are just standing waiting for someone to come along and make their lives better. I hate these missions. Like the dashes, you have one place to get to, that's just one small circle on the ground. Unlike the dashes though, they are on the strictest time limit possible. And since it's a count down instead of a count up, you run out of time and don't get that opportunity to optimize your path. It's just trial and error with a fun loading screen between every attempt. Like, I don't think I'm bad at the game, but I've completed many of these with 0 seconds left on the timer. And there's no reason the time limit is so short, like these people are just standing around, and they've been standing for days. What do two extra seconds really mean? And there are some that are fragile, or some where you can't be seen, but to my knowledge, that add on is essentially non existent. I'm already going as fast as I can on the only telegraphed route, it's not like I can change up how I make this run to avoid being spotted.
There are other types of these smaller side missions, and also side missions where you actually do things, but they didn't particularly peak my interest either.
As a short side note, the people in this game make this whole world seem dead. There are just people... Standing around doing nothing. It honestly reminds me of Tony Hawk Underground when there are people just standing waiting to give you a task to do. And for some reason, they always look like they're out of focus. Graphics look great within cutscenes, the people look amazing. But outside... It's so out of place, and they don't do anything. Some don't even have anything to say to you, they're just... Standing. And the ones that want you to do something are just so ungrateful. Like asshole, I'm trying to stop corruption in the city, you can deliver this thing yourself.
Also, the layout of everything just seems so weird. Like yeah, I get it, it's a futuristic city, but no buildings should ever look like this. Why is this what this room looks like? One time, a big server room is described to be built not for humans but for machines to use which is kiiind of an explanation, but there are still rooms that are just... What? What is this room for, why does it look like this.
Combat is bad. It was pretty bad in the first one, but you could use the guns and I kinda liked how awkward the gunplay was because it would be awkward for a runner to use a gun. But now you can't use a gun and sometimes combat is unavoidable. It's like they heard that combat was bad in the first game and were like "it's those pesky guns that are the problem." They even justify why Faith can't pick up a gun and shoot in loading screens, but that doesn't make combat any less of a chore.
As for the story missions... I said before, I don't much care for them, but when I actually paid attention to it, it was a series of details that just add up to me not caring. There are so many decisions that just seem off, small things that don't add up. It seems like every mission was thought out in a game sense but not in a realistic or consistent world sense. And yeah, you can try to make a compelling story, but what doesn't make me invested is leaving out details or set up. Telling me I can get the backstory by reading a comic outside of the game makes me feel like the story in the game is incomplete.
But here, let me give you a bunch of examples of design choices I found weird. And I'm gonna be throwing out a bunch of spoilers, so if you're at all interested in the story this game has to offer, just skip to the end. The game is called Mirror's Edge Catalyst, and not Mirror's Edge 2. This game is a reboot. Not a sequel or a prequel. See, I was confused cause the plot of the first one involves you saving your framed sister, and the plot of this one ends with you discovering that this daughter of one of the big evil corporations, Kruger Sec, is your sister. With a similar name too, in 1 it's Kate, and in Catalyst, it's Caitlyn, or Cat. But there's no way they're the same person. Catalyst ends with Cat being the CEO of Kruger Sec. In 1, Kate's a police officer. If they're the same person, Cat's making a wild decision to get out of the corrupt business lifestyle and live a more tame life as an officer. I just don't see it.
There's a mission where you're in this underground base and there are drones to be set up and infiltrate or destroy the resistance group in there. When you go in and destroy them, they're all in boxes conveniently resting right next to endless pits where they are pushed into and destroyed. Why are they there? Who decided that was a good spot to leave them and not set them up? How did they even get all the way down there?
Your mentor buddy, Noah, is thought to be dead, then it's revealed he's in this place called the greylands. And then you're told that it's not the greylands, but he's in a different place called the kingdom. And the kingdom is literally down under the underground base the resistance is in, there's just one door that needed to be opened. What? How did they not notice that? You think the resistance would want to make sure their base is super secretive, but they're neighbors to this evil corporate lair of torture and prisoners and neither of them knew.
When you figure out where the location of the kingdom is, you break into some area of KrugerSec and have your hacker buddy, Plastic, get the information for you. She says that if you make it in and out of here, you're a legend. Which you do with no problems, of course. And then when you need to invade the personal apartment of the CEO of KrugerSec, Faith loses all hope and sulks about how it's impossible.
A lot of the characters are very flat and uninteresting. Your sidekick runner buddy, Icarus, is the stereotypical hotshot that thinks he's the best and you're old news, but by the end learns to appreciate your skill and determination. The CEO of KrugerSec himself could have had some interesting points to make about his product, one he does make: maybe some people want to have their thoughts and emotions manipulated to make them happier, even if it forces them to pay into the power of big businesses. And then Faith punches him in the head. You keep telling these two people that you're definitely gonna give them this blueprint of that product and they keep saying "Okay I'll do this for you but you better give it to me!" and then you never give it to either of them and they're like okay with it or something. Not all characters are bad, I liked Plastic, but most didn't strike me as interesting at all.
The big climax of this game where you run and jump and move quickly, is all vertical movement. I get that it's visually stunning, you climbing up the tallest building, careful not to fall down as stuff is falling from above and glass is breaking from beneath, but it's sooo slow and directed. There's no sense of freedom or even skill. And when the entire game is on top of buildings where at any point you can fall and die, you're not really raising the stakes by just bringing me higher up.
There are a ton of other small details that just confuse me. How come you can disrupt some fans but not others?
Is pulling down walls really an upgrade if you can only do it in story missions? Why even have the walls there in the first place?
You think after Faith stole a priceless blueprint from this company she'd be high priority and that all the KrugerSec police would know who she is and what she looks like, but they're just like "hey, it's a runner, stop her!"
Why is the direct path through later parts of the levels hidden jumps onto tiny ledges on the sides of buildings?
Why does it look like I'm running through peoples houses, even though there's never anyone here doing anything. Why are the doors and windows wide open? On top of a building, you'd think it'd get pretty chilly.
You've killed so many people to get to the final room, why does the big evil baddie think two people are enough to stop you? Why doesn't he just pull out a gun and shoot you right there?
It probably sounds like I hated this game with all these minor nit picks. I don't, but they really add up to a frustrating experience. I think this game could have been great if they put more thought into why they were setting stuff up the way they did. It just seems like a lot of it wasn't thought out enough. I mean, I still like running around getting collectibles, and as far as I know, it's the only game that really focuses on free running and flow at this scale, but the numerous long loading screens, the bad dashes, the stupid skill tree, the uninspired story, and the many small annoyances build this game up to be more frustrating than anything. It coulda been great, and I could have really loved it, but instead, I just feel conflicted.
If you haven't seen our top games lists, I'm a big fan of the first Mirror's Edge. The single player was kinda odd, and the combat sucked, and the story was a bit uninspired, but the running was great! It had a wonderful aesthetic, and some of the best time trials I've ever played in a game. The mechanics and level design built for this wonderful competition between me and a good friend.
Mirror's Edge 2 is a big open world with a lot of side missions and small trials and collectibles and is also kind of a mess. Some things are improved. Some things are not. I think a lot of it is centered around its open world-ness. Collectibles, side missions, and random encounters now litter the rooftops as you ignore important pressing story missions to instead hack billboards.
All right, let's play the- Oh.
To this day, I'm still not sure if making it open world is a good idea or not. Unlike most open world games, you're stuck on rooftops, cutting through hallways, walking on tight ropes, or jumping from building to building. It's very free and fun at first, traversing these rooftops of jungle gym equipment, but with how it's set up, there are some frustrations that never go away. With always being on top of a large building, there is the constant concern of falling off that large building. And enjoying a loading screen. You will spend a lot of time looking at loading screens, something I'll touch more on later. The game doesn't give you a heads up display, which I kind of like as a way to force you to enjoy the skyline and environments and possibly create familiar routes which you'll use to run from point to point of interest, but the map is not built intuitive enough to avoid running into dead ends, or just going in the wrong direction. Runner's vision is a helpful way to avoid constantly checking the map, but then you're always following the same route. The freedom is taken away, and you're just following a line.
Admittedly, the collectibles do wonders for justifying it's open world change. They remind me of Crackdown or Saints Row IV where you're constantly distracted by trying to figure out how to get to a collectible. There are a bunch of different types, but I think the grid leaks are the best ones. I mean, none of them really make sense, but in a "game sense", it's nice to have collectibles you can see from a distance and don't slow you down. The electronic parts are fine, but if you see one in the distance, you don't know if it's already been collected, and every single time you get another one, you see the same animation. Pull of the panel, pull out the chip, look at it, shove it up your butt. Every time, it looks the same. Okay, yeah, I get it. You're pulling it off, yep, okay pick it up, spin it, oh you're getting shot, no matters, look at it, spin it, pull it off, spin it, pick it up, pull it off... It really stops the flow of things in a game about maintaining flow. Again, that's more of a minor thing, cause it's still fun to just collect shit, but still. If some collectibles are glowing, floating balls of "data," I don't need the framing for every single electronic chip. Why am I even taking these? Whatever.
The time trials are back, now termed "dashes." They're a worse implementation of the time trials in the first game. Like, I enjoy that there are a lot of them, but they're just not as good for a few reasons. Firstly, the time between mistake and retry is too long. Like I said before, there is a lot of loading. If you're close enough to the spawn, it'll load without cutting to a loading screen, but that's a rarity. And if you fall off a high enough ledge or fall off the building, it loads to put you back at the ledge you fell off. And if you want to retry and didn't hold retry early enough, you have to wait to load from the death, and then you have to wait to load for the retry. Secondly, you don't know where you're going. Yeah, you have some runner's vision to tell you where you're going, but in the first one, where you had massive beacons of light at multiple checkpoints, now there's one flat circle where you have to end up. You don't know where it is from the beginning, and if you're trying to find the fastest route, it's difficult to tell where you're losing the most time. And yes, I appreciate that it's not obvious what the fastest route is, as finding the best route and optimizing it was the best part of the first one's trials,
but now it's such a pain because all the buildings look kind of samey and unless the run is incredibly straightforward, it's easy to get lost with where you started and where you're going. And because it is just one checkpoint, the dashes themselves aren't as interesting. You're not looping around through the same area, you're just getting to this one point as fast as possible, but it's difficult to do that as you're just re-evaluating the entire race every time.
The movement feels more streamlined than in the first one, which is good and bad. They took out the small tricks for picking up and maintaining speed like side stepping to instantly get to max speed, or the constant jumping and crouching, and they added stuff like vaulting over small ledges which always felt like it slowed me down. But they also took away core mechanics of moving in the first one to add this false sense of progression in the form of an "upgrade tree."
The upgrade tree in this game is the most unnecessary annoying "addition." There are arguably no new upgrades. The movement ones are all either simple tricks or contextual tools. All the tricks are things you could do from the beginning of the first one, like quick turning from a wall, coiling your feet when you jump, or freaking rolling when you hit the ground. All the tools are so contextual that it's not an upgrade, just a key that unlocks a faster door. The hook shot in this game is lame because you can only do it in specific spots. Like, I get that it'd kind of break the game if it could be used anywhere at any time, but Titanfall 2 has a waaaay better hookshot. It just feels like an afterthought. And the idea that you have to arbitrarily unlock things that make it possible to make the game flow better is stupid. It just feels cheap when the only way to three star a dash is through something you unlock later in the game. Upgrades in just simply don't belong and discourage even trying the dashes until you have everything.
Another flavor of side content is one off dashes, either from a machine that yells at you, or from people that are just standing waiting for someone to come along and make their lives better. I hate these missions. Like the dashes, you have one place to get to, that's just one small circle on the ground. Unlike the dashes though, they are on the strictest time limit possible. And since it's a count down instead of a count up, you run out of time and don't get that opportunity to optimize your path. It's just trial and error with a fun loading screen between every attempt. Like, I don't think I'm bad at the game, but I've completed many of these with 0 seconds left on the timer. And there's no reason the time limit is so short, like these people are just standing around, and they've been standing for days. What do two extra seconds really mean? And there are some that are fragile, or some where you can't be seen, but to my knowledge, that add on is essentially non existent. I'm already going as fast as I can on the only telegraphed route, it's not like I can change up how I make this run to avoid being spotted.
There are other types of these smaller side missions, and also side missions where you actually do things, but they didn't particularly peak my interest either.
As a short side note, the people in this game make this whole world seem dead. There are just people... Standing around doing nothing. It honestly reminds me of Tony Hawk Underground when there are people just standing waiting to give you a task to do. And for some reason, they always look like they're out of focus. Graphics look great within cutscenes, the people look amazing. But outside... It's so out of place, and they don't do anything. Some don't even have anything to say to you, they're just... Standing. And the ones that want you to do something are just so ungrateful. Like asshole, I'm trying to stop corruption in the city, you can deliver this thing yourself.
Also, the layout of everything just seems so weird. Like yeah, I get it, it's a futuristic city, but no buildings should ever look like this. Why is this what this room looks like? One time, a big server room is described to be built not for humans but for machines to use which is kiiind of an explanation, but there are still rooms that are just... What? What is this room for, why does it look like this.
Combat is bad. It was pretty bad in the first one, but you could use the guns and I kinda liked how awkward the gunplay was because it would be awkward for a runner to use a gun. But now you can't use a gun and sometimes combat is unavoidable. It's like they heard that combat was bad in the first game and were like "it's those pesky guns that are the problem." They even justify why Faith can't pick up a gun and shoot in loading screens, but that doesn't make combat any less of a chore.
As for the story missions... I said before, I don't much care for them, but when I actually paid attention to it, it was a series of details that just add up to me not caring. There are so many decisions that just seem off, small things that don't add up. It seems like every mission was thought out in a game sense but not in a realistic or consistent world sense. And yeah, you can try to make a compelling story, but what doesn't make me invested is leaving out details or set up. Telling me I can get the backstory by reading a comic outside of the game makes me feel like the story in the game is incomplete.
But here, let me give you a bunch of examples of design choices I found weird. And I'm gonna be throwing out a bunch of spoilers, so if you're at all interested in the story this game has to offer, just skip to the end. The game is called Mirror's Edge Catalyst, and not Mirror's Edge 2. This game is a reboot. Not a sequel or a prequel. See, I was confused cause the plot of the first one involves you saving your framed sister, and the plot of this one ends with you discovering that this daughter of one of the big evil corporations, Kruger Sec, is your sister. With a similar name too, in 1 it's Kate, and in Catalyst, it's Caitlyn, or Cat. But there's no way they're the same person. Catalyst ends with Cat being the CEO of Kruger Sec. In 1, Kate's a police officer. If they're the same person, Cat's making a wild decision to get out of the corrupt business lifestyle and live a more tame life as an officer. I just don't see it.
There's a mission where you're in this underground base and there are drones to be set up and infiltrate or destroy the resistance group in there. When you go in and destroy them, they're all in boxes conveniently resting right next to endless pits where they are pushed into and destroyed. Why are they there? Who decided that was a good spot to leave them and not set them up? How did they even get all the way down there?
Your mentor buddy, Noah, is thought to be dead, then it's revealed he's in this place called the greylands. And then you're told that it's not the greylands, but he's in a different place called the kingdom. And the kingdom is literally down under the underground base the resistance is in, there's just one door that needed to be opened. What? How did they not notice that? You think the resistance would want to make sure their base is super secretive, but they're neighbors to this evil corporate lair of torture and prisoners and neither of them knew.
When you figure out where the location of the kingdom is, you break into some area of KrugerSec and have your hacker buddy, Plastic, get the information for you. She says that if you make it in and out of here, you're a legend. Which you do with no problems, of course. And then when you need to invade the personal apartment of the CEO of KrugerSec, Faith loses all hope and sulks about how it's impossible.
A lot of the characters are very flat and uninteresting. Your sidekick runner buddy, Icarus, is the stereotypical hotshot that thinks he's the best and you're old news, but by the end learns to appreciate your skill and determination. The CEO of KrugerSec himself could have had some interesting points to make about his product, one he does make: maybe some people want to have their thoughts and emotions manipulated to make them happier, even if it forces them to pay into the power of big businesses. And then Faith punches him in the head. You keep telling these two people that you're definitely gonna give them this blueprint of that product and they keep saying "Okay I'll do this for you but you better give it to me!" and then you never give it to either of them and they're like okay with it or something. Not all characters are bad, I liked Plastic, but most didn't strike me as interesting at all.
The big climax of this game where you run and jump and move quickly, is all vertical movement. I get that it's visually stunning, you climbing up the tallest building, careful not to fall down as stuff is falling from above and glass is breaking from beneath, but it's sooo slow and directed. There's no sense of freedom or even skill. And when the entire game is on top of buildings where at any point you can fall and die, you're not really raising the stakes by just bringing me higher up.
There are a ton of other small details that just confuse me. How come you can disrupt some fans but not others?
Is pulling down walls really an upgrade if you can only do it in story missions? Why even have the walls there in the first place?
You think after Faith stole a priceless blueprint from this company she'd be high priority and that all the KrugerSec police would know who she is and what she looks like, but they're just like "hey, it's a runner, stop her!"
Why is the direct path through later parts of the levels hidden jumps onto tiny ledges on the sides of buildings?
Why does it look like I'm running through peoples houses, even though there's never anyone here doing anything. Why are the doors and windows wide open? On top of a building, you'd think it'd get pretty chilly.
You've killed so many people to get to the final room, why does the big evil baddie think two people are enough to stop you? Why doesn't he just pull out a gun and shoot you right there?
It probably sounds like I hated this game with all these minor nit picks. I don't, but they really add up to a frustrating experience. I think this game could have been great if they put more thought into why they were setting stuff up the way they did. It just seems like a lot of it wasn't thought out enough. I mean, I still like running around getting collectibles, and as far as I know, it's the only game that really focuses on free running and flow at this scale, but the numerous long loading screens, the bad dashes, the stupid skill tree, the uninspired story, and the many small annoyances build this game up to be more frustrating than anything. It coulda been great, and I could have really loved it, but instead, I just feel conflicted.
Monday, April 4, 2016
This War of Mine
I've made it pretty clear that I'm a big fan of games that make me feel like absolute trash, but in a "It's my fault this sort of thing happened." Recommending games like A Dark Room, Walking Dead Season 1, and Spec Ops: The Line, sadness simulators have been right up my go to for emotional trauma at my fingertips. I think one of things that made all these so successful as that the terror and sadness creep up on you. I mean, even in The Walking Dead, in an environment where you're in a constant position of fear and worry with the persistent threat of zombies and death and sadness, the big hitting moments are paced in such a way that right when you feel like things are getting better, the game pulls you back into the brutal world that you're playing in.
This War Of Mine takes somewhat of a different spin on it. The game takes place during a war in fictional Not-Russia. You control a few survivors struggling to stick together and survive by making do with the shit at your disposal. And by at your disposal, I mean shit you've scavenged for or stolen. The game functions mostly in two parts: building shit while you can in the day and scavenging for materials and equipment in the night. You slowly build up your means of survival by building water collectors, low-grade stoves, workbenches, weapons and everything in between.
The day-building segment functions like a depressing version of Fallout Shelter. Though obviously more in depth and detailed, you spend the day creating things, waiting for things to be done, or waiting to send people out into the city to scavenge. Occasionally, visitors will stop to trade, or to ask for help, or something else. The rest of the day will be when you make sure all your survivors are all healthy enough to fend off in the night. You'll apply medications, bandages, and make your people eat and sleep in the day. You'll also spend this time building tools, traps, and other miscellaneous stuff to make bigger and better things.
The night-scavenging follows a Gunpoint-esque 2d stealth platformer. Sometimes stealth isn't required if the area is abandoned or without hostiles, but since your character moves the same and you're given locational sound cues regardless of the necessity of stealth, you're never sure how stealthy you have to be. Before you'll begin your nightly excursion, it's important to equip your scavenger with things that will help them on their trip. Shovels to remove rubble, crowbars or lockpicks for opening doors, weapons for defense, etc, but you don't want to take too or else you won't be able to bring much back.
Overall, the game presents itself beautifully. It's aesthetic is dark, grey, and all has a penciled over look. The frame of view being dependent on what your character could actually see creates a worry of what may be making noise on the other sides of walls or on different floors, even if it is just a mouse. The sound-design is also wonderful. While it has some light minor music somewhat reminiscent to the Last of Us, the sound effects for removing rubble, crafting, cooking, and moving is all well articulated. It all comes together to create this sad and somewhat realistic feeling environment.
Unfortunately, there are two major factors that make it difficult for me to enjoy the game. The first one comes from the structure of the day-building segments. I said it's built like Fallout Shelter, and that's to its ironic detriment. After setting up the few things I need to take care of in the day, you either wait until they're done to use, or you fast forward until the night. If you set someone to cook, you'll have to wait however many seconds until they're finished to consume it. Many days would be me setting my people up to build, or rest up, or whatever, and then i'd check my phone while I waited. After I got over the dreary setting, I couldn't stay immersed in the world while I'm sitting, watching someone stand by a stove or a workbench. Shit gets tedious.
The other main thing that struck me is that this is a game that wants me to feel bad but has troubles allowing me to create my own emotions. See, it's best when I go through the ruins of a school and find notes amongst the scrap I'm looting. Or when I hear a positive weather report on the radio while looking at the grey, depressed world I'm in. You get the feeling that there's not much you can do, but you're making the best with what you can and who you have. The big people in power don't care or think about the people you're controlling, and it gives an oppressive feeling of helplessness. Which is all great!
What is NOT great however is when you go and you steal resources from an elderly couple and your character returns to the house with a "sad" status. That's cheap. The characters of such little personality anyways so that they're practically interchangeable. Yeah, one may move a little faster, or one may have a bit of extra space in their inventory, but that doesn't create a character. Just because one's a "good cook" doesn't mean his food is better or more filling, he just does it a bit faster. Not like I care much given all the time in the day I have. They all complain about hunger and sleepiness in the same way and they all control virtually identically. Sure, they may have backstories, but their current stories are all the same, and telling me they're sad is of little interest to me. Maybe if it they somehow acted sad but still do what you make them while others are visually or even vocally reluctant. Just because a character has a frowny face doesn't mean i'll have sympathy for them.
The thing that really killed it for me was a game changing bug I found. One of your characters can be "good a bargaining," which essentially means people will sell you things for cheaper than they're actually worth. This led me to just getting stuff for free. Oh, you have bandages and some wood? I'll gladly offer you some bandages for that! Rinse and repeat until you have just about everything they had to offer. Oh, not feeling sad about stealing from that guy, huh? I mean, he's trying to survive too, it's not his fault he's just incredibly stupid.
Like I said, I'd prefer it if they left it up to me to form thoughts. I don't need this character thinking "Those people probably won't have enough food to survive," that's for me to acknowledge. By pushing it in my face, the game wants me to feel bad and relate to these characters, but there's just nothing there. It pulls me out of the game. I want to feel bad because I stole and killed innocent people, not because the character did it.
Sadly, I didn't end up playing this game too too much, or even to completion. Maybe I will at some point, but it just wasn't engaging enough to me. When I sit down to play a game, I don't want to prepare myself to do something else while I wait, especially when this is the type of game that gains the most from immersion. With games like Spec Ops, or Telltale's Walking Dead, there's something keeping me going. With this, it's a constant struggle to succeed and when you do, it doesn't feel particularly rewarding. Maybe I didn't play it right. I didn't steal or murder anyone. Part cause I didn't have to, but part cause I didn't want to. I didn't want to, not my character didn't want to. Big difference.
But maybe that's the game winning, right? War isn't supposed to be fun, you're not going to be a winner, and people aren't going to be happy. But at the very least, I have to care about the people to succeed. Because if I don't, why am I even playing?
This War Of Mine takes somewhat of a different spin on it. The game takes place during a war in fictional Not-Russia. You control a few survivors struggling to stick together and survive by making do with the shit at your disposal. And by at your disposal, I mean shit you've scavenged for or stolen. The game functions mostly in two parts: building shit while you can in the day and scavenging for materials and equipment in the night. You slowly build up your means of survival by building water collectors, low-grade stoves, workbenches, weapons and everything in between.
The day-building segment functions like a depressing version of Fallout Shelter. Though obviously more in depth and detailed, you spend the day creating things, waiting for things to be done, or waiting to send people out into the city to scavenge. Occasionally, visitors will stop to trade, or to ask for help, or something else. The rest of the day will be when you make sure all your survivors are all healthy enough to fend off in the night. You'll apply medications, bandages, and make your people eat and sleep in the day. You'll also spend this time building tools, traps, and other miscellaneous stuff to make bigger and better things.
The night-scavenging follows a Gunpoint-esque 2d stealth platformer. Sometimes stealth isn't required if the area is abandoned or without hostiles, but since your character moves the same and you're given locational sound cues regardless of the necessity of stealth, you're never sure how stealthy you have to be. Before you'll begin your nightly excursion, it's important to equip your scavenger with things that will help them on their trip. Shovels to remove rubble, crowbars or lockpicks for opening doors, weapons for defense, etc, but you don't want to take too or else you won't be able to bring much back.
Overall, the game presents itself beautifully. It's aesthetic is dark, grey, and all has a penciled over look. The frame of view being dependent on what your character could actually see creates a worry of what may be making noise on the other sides of walls or on different floors, even if it is just a mouse. The sound-design is also wonderful. While it has some light minor music somewhat reminiscent to the Last of Us, the sound effects for removing rubble, crafting, cooking, and moving is all well articulated. It all comes together to create this sad and somewhat realistic feeling environment.
Unfortunately, there are two major factors that make it difficult for me to enjoy the game. The first one comes from the structure of the day-building segments. I said it's built like Fallout Shelter, and that's to its ironic detriment. After setting up the few things I need to take care of in the day, you either wait until they're done to use, or you fast forward until the night. If you set someone to cook, you'll have to wait however many seconds until they're finished to consume it. Many days would be me setting my people up to build, or rest up, or whatever, and then i'd check my phone while I waited. After I got over the dreary setting, I couldn't stay immersed in the world while I'm sitting, watching someone stand by a stove or a workbench. Shit gets tedious.
The other main thing that struck me is that this is a game that wants me to feel bad but has troubles allowing me to create my own emotions. See, it's best when I go through the ruins of a school and find notes amongst the scrap I'm looting. Or when I hear a positive weather report on the radio while looking at the grey, depressed world I'm in. You get the feeling that there's not much you can do, but you're making the best with what you can and who you have. The big people in power don't care or think about the people you're controlling, and it gives an oppressive feeling of helplessness. Which is all great!
What is NOT great however is when you go and you steal resources from an elderly couple and your character returns to the house with a "sad" status. That's cheap. The characters of such little personality anyways so that they're practically interchangeable. Yeah, one may move a little faster, or one may have a bit of extra space in their inventory, but that doesn't create a character. Just because one's a "good cook" doesn't mean his food is better or more filling, he just does it a bit faster. Not like I care much given all the time in the day I have. They all complain about hunger and sleepiness in the same way and they all control virtually identically. Sure, they may have backstories, but their current stories are all the same, and telling me they're sad is of little interest to me. Maybe if it they somehow acted sad but still do what you make them while others are visually or even vocally reluctant. Just because a character has a frowny face doesn't mean i'll have sympathy for them.
The thing that really killed it for me was a game changing bug I found. One of your characters can be "good a bargaining," which essentially means people will sell you things for cheaper than they're actually worth. This led me to just getting stuff for free. Oh, you have bandages and some wood? I'll gladly offer you some bandages for that! Rinse and repeat until you have just about everything they had to offer. Oh, not feeling sad about stealing from that guy, huh? I mean, he's trying to survive too, it's not his fault he's just incredibly stupid.
Like I said, I'd prefer it if they left it up to me to form thoughts. I don't need this character thinking "Those people probably won't have enough food to survive," that's for me to acknowledge. By pushing it in my face, the game wants me to feel bad and relate to these characters, but there's just nothing there. It pulls me out of the game. I want to feel bad because I stole and killed innocent people, not because the character did it.
Sadly, I didn't end up playing this game too too much, or even to completion. Maybe I will at some point, but it just wasn't engaging enough to me. When I sit down to play a game, I don't want to prepare myself to do something else while I wait, especially when this is the type of game that gains the most from immersion. With games like Spec Ops, or Telltale's Walking Dead, there's something keeping me going. With this, it's a constant struggle to succeed and when you do, it doesn't feel particularly rewarding. Maybe I didn't play it right. I didn't steal or murder anyone. Part cause I didn't have to, but part cause I didn't want to. I didn't want to, not my character didn't want to. Big difference.
But maybe that's the game winning, right? War isn't supposed to be fun, you're not going to be a winner, and people aren't going to be happy. But at the very least, I have to care about the people to succeed. Because if I don't, why am I even playing?
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Top 5 Unexpected Loves of Rock Band 4
When Rock Band 4's setlist was released, it was met with a shorus of "meh." At least it was by me and all the people I knew who saw it. There was just a lack of memorable songs. Of course music taste is subjective, but this is what I thought. Though it did have some high profile artists like System of a Down, Queens of the Stoneage, Fallout Boy, and Rush, they had weird decisions for songs.
So while my opinion of it all isn't the best, it'd be silly to say it was devoid of anything good. It does have a few killer songs in there that I was glad to see. Metropolis Pt. 1, Short Skirt, Long Jacket, and Still Into You were all songs that I was real happy to see and play in this game. And it inspired a love for songs like Friday I'm In Love and Your Love that I never knew I had.
And just like any other music game, it introduced me to plenty of songs I had never heard of. And even more impressively, it turned me onto songs I didn't anticipate myself to enjoy at the level that I do. So here, I'm gonna count down the top 5 sleeper hit songs of Rock Band 4.
#5. This one is a bit of a gimme, because I actually like ska music. Well, mostly 3rd wave ska, cause I've never taken the time to listen to that mid 20th century reggae ska, nor do I have any intentions to. My tastes lie within Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Phish, and Goldfinger. And so I was shocked to discover just how much I enjoyed The Impression That I Get, by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
Now the main reason this one was a shocker is cause the only other 'Stones song I had heard was Where'd You Go? cause it was on Rock Band 2. I didn't much care for it then cause it wasn't that interesting to play or listen to. And I think I still agree on that. It doesn't have any punch, ya know? And that's what I like in my ska. Fast, upbeat. Poppy. This one's full of long, slow tones. It feels like they wrote a song about how uneventful Tuesdays are. It picks up in a couple parts, but then returns to the slump.
But I'm not talking about that song, I'm talking about The Impression That I get. It's like twice as fast and has shouting in the chorus. That's the kind of shit I want in my rock band game. And I also totally identify with the message in the song which is basically "some people have been through tough times and had to knock on wood to get through. I haven't, and I'm glad I haven't because it looks awful."
And the fact that it's a joke in Bojack Horseman scores it some points too.
#4. As I said before, I like my music to have punch. And sometimes I just like shit real loud and frantic. Whether it's clean like Venetian Snares or Mars Volta or rough like Fall of Troy or Anthrax, I like my noise.
But, I mean, there's a limit. I don't like Visions in Rock Band 2. That one's a bit too far into the noise end. But Dream Genie by Lightning Bolt is right in the spot of interesting, loud, and frantic.
Yeah, I get that not many people like this one, but I think comparing it to Visions is a bit unfair. This one I initially had some issues with, but I got over it and quite like it. Admittedly, I find it a lot more fun to listen to than play along to, especially since they haven't implemented a practice mode yet, and the vocals are completely incoherent, but I like it more and more with every listen.
#3. Rock Band has always been a bit hit and miss with it's indie/electronic stuff. Though most of the main setlists have avoided relying on disco-beat songs, the indie end of the spectrum isn't the most consistent. They can be fun and up beat, like Tongue-Tied, or they can be kinda meh, like Combat Baby, or Something Bigger, Something Brighter.
But the standout song in this was Birth in Reverse, by St. Vincent.
I was completely unaware of St. Vincent, but a friend of mine was very excited to hear it. I was a bit skeptic cause of the indie-ness, and the pop-dance-ness of it, but this is a blast to play, and a fun listen. I often relied on this one when going through the awfully restrictive career mode for a fun on-disk guitar song to fill a setlist.
I love the the upbeat feel of it, and I don't even mind the disco drum charting of it, though a 7-tier? Maybe a bit of a stretch.
#2. Remember what I said for indie stuff? I was about to say the same about pop-rock, but it turns out I actually like a lot of songs that Rock Band classifies as pop-rock. Your Love, The Middle, and anything by Duran Duran can never go wrong. I think the thing I hate is the toothless, easy listening stuff. Slower, gentler. When I play my music games, I wanna rock out! Let's get some songs I can scream to, yeah!
And then sometimes songs like Milwaukee show up and I just can't really describe it.
Music's a weird thing. Songs are so short and can be so similar to each other, but I can love one and hate the other. What does Milwaukee have to offer? It's not fast, but it's upbeat. It's not loud, but it's confident. The duo of The Both sing in a comfortable range, and they perform with a lovely harmony. It sounds like they enjoyed recording and singing this song. It's just... A really happy song that feels good, ya know?
I hesitate to say that it's got "soul," because that's such a copout description, as well as really difficult to actually attribute. But it's the reason I like this song over the U2 songs. The U2 songs just feel lifeless, while this one is full of it. It's not there to prove a point, it's just happy to exist.
#1. This'll be an easy one to guess based on the preface: I don't like country music. I don't identify with it. I don't really care about the things that most country artists sing about. And it deeefinitely doesn't help that all the country I'm exposed to nowadays is either the identical mass of wishy-washy "bro-country" songs or are completely boring. Rock Band 4 has 2 country songs. It has Little White Church, which sucks, and it has Start a Band, which is wonderful.
How to begin with this one! I was skeptical of it when I first scrolled past it through the setlist. Devil-tier on guitar? There's no way! Brad Paisley and Keith Urban? Those are two people whose names I've heard a lot and whose music I've never heard. Unless you count the embaaarassingly bad "Accidental Racist" Paisley collab with LL Cool J. But I eventually got down to it, and played it for the sake of some Playstation trophies. And surprise it's one of the most fun guitar songs on the whole damn disk.
It's kind of difficult to describe. I mean, it has all those country tropes that I don't really like: moderate tempo, slide guitar, twang... I dunno, it just feels so happy. Sounds like they're both genuinely happy about it all. It works for a lot of reasons the Milwaukee works. I'm not familiar with a lot of country, but I enjoy it cause it seems like it doesn't have to be something else, even if it does jokingly play riffs of other well known rock songs.
The dueling guitars are super fun to play along to with the many solos, and it's a great fun song to sing along with. Though it's not one that anybody'll be shouting to, it's just an all around real enjoyable song.
------
So while Rock Band 4 didn't have the most exciting setlist for most people, it sure had some hidden gems for me. And I enjoy that! It's fun looking back at the songs I feel in love with that the games have introduced me to, and I'm glad to know that I can always be surprised by artists and genres that I had previously written off. Cause subverted expectations are fun!
So while my opinion of it all isn't the best, it'd be silly to say it was devoid of anything good. It does have a few killer songs in there that I was glad to see. Metropolis Pt. 1, Short Skirt, Long Jacket, and Still Into You were all songs that I was real happy to see and play in this game. And it inspired a love for songs like Friday I'm In Love and Your Love that I never knew I had.
And just like any other music game, it introduced me to plenty of songs I had never heard of. And even more impressively, it turned me onto songs I didn't anticipate myself to enjoy at the level that I do. So here, I'm gonna count down the top 5 sleeper hit songs of Rock Band 4.
#5. This one is a bit of a gimme, because I actually like ska music. Well, mostly 3rd wave ska, cause I've never taken the time to listen to that mid 20th century reggae ska, nor do I have any intentions to. My tastes lie within Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Phish, and Goldfinger. And so I was shocked to discover just how much I enjoyed The Impression That I Get, by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
Now the main reason this one was a shocker is cause the only other 'Stones song I had heard was Where'd You Go? cause it was on Rock Band 2. I didn't much care for it then cause it wasn't that interesting to play or listen to. And I think I still agree on that. It doesn't have any punch, ya know? And that's what I like in my ska. Fast, upbeat. Poppy. This one's full of long, slow tones. It feels like they wrote a song about how uneventful Tuesdays are. It picks up in a couple parts, but then returns to the slump.
But I'm not talking about that song, I'm talking about The Impression That I get. It's like twice as fast and has shouting in the chorus. That's the kind of shit I want in my rock band game. And I also totally identify with the message in the song which is basically "some people have been through tough times and had to knock on wood to get through. I haven't, and I'm glad I haven't because it looks awful."
And the fact that it's a joke in Bojack Horseman scores it some points too.
#4. As I said before, I like my music to have punch. And sometimes I just like shit real loud and frantic. Whether it's clean like Venetian Snares or Mars Volta or rough like Fall of Troy or Anthrax, I like my noise.
But, I mean, there's a limit. I don't like Visions in Rock Band 2. That one's a bit too far into the noise end. But Dream Genie by Lightning Bolt is right in the spot of interesting, loud, and frantic.
Yeah, I get that not many people like this one, but I think comparing it to Visions is a bit unfair. This one I initially had some issues with, but I got over it and quite like it. Admittedly, I find it a lot more fun to listen to than play along to, especially since they haven't implemented a practice mode yet, and the vocals are completely incoherent, but I like it more and more with every listen.
#3. Rock Band has always been a bit hit and miss with it's indie/electronic stuff. Though most of the main setlists have avoided relying on disco-beat songs, the indie end of the spectrum isn't the most consistent. They can be fun and up beat, like Tongue-Tied, or they can be kinda meh, like Combat Baby, or Something Bigger, Something Brighter.
But the standout song in this was Birth in Reverse, by St. Vincent.
I was completely unaware of St. Vincent, but a friend of mine was very excited to hear it. I was a bit skeptic cause of the indie-ness, and the pop-dance-ness of it, but this is a blast to play, and a fun listen. I often relied on this one when going through the awfully restrictive career mode for a fun on-disk guitar song to fill a setlist.
I love the the upbeat feel of it, and I don't even mind the disco drum charting of it, though a 7-tier? Maybe a bit of a stretch.
#2. Remember what I said for indie stuff? I was about to say the same about pop-rock, but it turns out I actually like a lot of songs that Rock Band classifies as pop-rock. Your Love, The Middle, and anything by Duran Duran can never go wrong. I think the thing I hate is the toothless, easy listening stuff. Slower, gentler. When I play my music games, I wanna rock out! Let's get some songs I can scream to, yeah!
And then sometimes songs like Milwaukee show up and I just can't really describe it.
Music's a weird thing. Songs are so short and can be so similar to each other, but I can love one and hate the other. What does Milwaukee have to offer? It's not fast, but it's upbeat. It's not loud, but it's confident. The duo of The Both sing in a comfortable range, and they perform with a lovely harmony. It sounds like they enjoyed recording and singing this song. It's just... A really happy song that feels good, ya know?
I hesitate to say that it's got "soul," because that's such a copout description, as well as really difficult to actually attribute. But it's the reason I like this song over the U2 songs. The U2 songs just feel lifeless, while this one is full of it. It's not there to prove a point, it's just happy to exist.
#1. This'll be an easy one to guess based on the preface: I don't like country music. I don't identify with it. I don't really care about the things that most country artists sing about. And it deeefinitely doesn't help that all the country I'm exposed to nowadays is either the identical mass of wishy-washy "bro-country" songs or are completely boring. Rock Band 4 has 2 country songs. It has Little White Church, which sucks, and it has Start a Band, which is wonderful.
How to begin with this one! I was skeptical of it when I first scrolled past it through the setlist. Devil-tier on guitar? There's no way! Brad Paisley and Keith Urban? Those are two people whose names I've heard a lot and whose music I've never heard. Unless you count the embaaarassingly bad "Accidental Racist" Paisley collab with LL Cool J. But I eventually got down to it, and played it for the sake of some Playstation trophies. And surprise it's one of the most fun guitar songs on the whole damn disk.
It's kind of difficult to describe. I mean, it has all those country tropes that I don't really like: moderate tempo, slide guitar, twang... I dunno, it just feels so happy. Sounds like they're both genuinely happy about it all. It works for a lot of reasons the Milwaukee works. I'm not familiar with a lot of country, but I enjoy it cause it seems like it doesn't have to be something else, even if it does jokingly play riffs of other well known rock songs.
The dueling guitars are super fun to play along to with the many solos, and it's a great fun song to sing along with. Though it's not one that anybody'll be shouting to, it's just an all around real enjoyable song.
------
So while Rock Band 4 didn't have the most exciting setlist for most people, it sure had some hidden gems for me. And I enjoy that! It's fun looking back at the songs I feel in love with that the games have introduced me to, and I'm glad to know that I can always be surprised by artists and genres that I had previously written off. Cause subverted expectations are fun!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Why I Play Euro Truck Simulator 2
It's easy to feel like the world is out of your control, to feel in a position where you have no power over the world around you. Or at least it is for me. It's tough to turn a helpless disposition around, and in a society that so values participation and activity, it gives a different perspective to the people who can't help but watch the world from the isolated comforts of their bedrooms.
As a twenty-one year old college student, our winter break spanned from December 18th to January 10th. Leading up to it was exciting to think of all the free time I'd have! No classes, no homework, hell, I didn't even have a job at home anymore. Doesn't that sound great? Yeah, great... The novelty of being home wore thin very quickly. It isn't long until I had exhausted the few things I had at my disposal. What did I do over most of the break? I don't really know. It's all a bit of a blur.
My biggest problem with long stretches of inactivity is that lack of structure breeds laziness and a stark lack of motivation. My life kind of fell apart, and I forgot how to operate as a human being. I found myself sometimes eating just one meal in a day, or staying up incredibly late and waking up in the afternoon for no real reason. On one hand, I saw it as being okay, as this is my period of time to do whatever I wanted and to "relax." On the other, I wasn't happy with my decision, they were just unhealthy things I did because I could. I still moved onto the next day regardless of the unhealthy habits.
It became difficult to start anything that would require effort, and my incredibly stubborn personality certainly didn't help. Regardless of whether the activity would actually be fun or rewarding, it took a large amount of willpower to engage. To illustrate, the top games video itself took about 15 hours to make, including getting the footage I needed. I could have started the first week of break, when Ducky gave me his footage, but it was two weeks before I touched any of it. And despite the hesitation, making it was fun, rewarding. I worked for the better part of two days and got it out and have gotten wonderful feedback and support from it.
So, then, where does Euro Truck come into any of this? Well, in my slump, I found comfort in single player games. To an extent, I can control my experience. Even though it was fun spending time with friends, it was draining. But Euro Truck? There's nothing but me and the road. Nobody to compete with, nothing particularly complicated about it.
It's important to note the difference between Euro Truck Simulator 2 and other "simulator" games. The biggest difference can be found in the title. It's called Euro Truck Simulator 2, and not something like Euro Truck Simulator 2015. In contrast to things like Woodcutting Simulator 2011, Agricultural Simulator 2011, or Crane Simulator 2009, this is a standalone game developed with an idea from the developers. While many shovelware simulator games are cash-grabs by a developer using reused assets to create a simple worthless game, developer SCS Software made a polished and focused game. While the main gameplay is fairly standard for what you'd expect, there's a sense of progression with a goal in mind. You're given options, you're given control.
This game itself is pretty basic, but when I play it, I feel like I'm at least doing something. It's a thing I can do to pass the time. Toss on an album, a podcast, some online videos, and get driving. I embrace the isolation I find myself in, and truck to occupy the time. It's something to do on my own for nobody else but myself. Sure, people can see that I put in around 20 hours in a week or whatever on my steam profile, but I don't have to play games for the satisfaction for the others. I can space out, enjoy whatever I'm listening to and won't have the guilt or dread of feeling "that I should be doing something."
Even though in the grand scope of things, I can see that my progress is all in my head and that I'm not doing anything, there's a sense of progression, accomplishment. I can feel like I'm slowly working towards some objectives, and that with every delivery I'm closer and closer. And that's really the root of it. Because whatever mess I've been dealing with in the day, I can at least find some serenity and satisfaction on the road in a simulated, miniaturized Europe.
As a twenty-one year old college student, our winter break spanned from December 18th to January 10th. Leading up to it was exciting to think of all the free time I'd have! No classes, no homework, hell, I didn't even have a job at home anymore. Doesn't that sound great? Yeah, great... The novelty of being home wore thin very quickly. It isn't long until I had exhausted the few things I had at my disposal. What did I do over most of the break? I don't really know. It's all a bit of a blur.
My biggest problem with long stretches of inactivity is that lack of structure breeds laziness and a stark lack of motivation. My life kind of fell apart, and I forgot how to operate as a human being. I found myself sometimes eating just one meal in a day, or staying up incredibly late and waking up in the afternoon for no real reason. On one hand, I saw it as being okay, as this is my period of time to do whatever I wanted and to "relax." On the other, I wasn't happy with my decision, they were just unhealthy things I did because I could. I still moved onto the next day regardless of the unhealthy habits.
It became difficult to start anything that would require effort, and my incredibly stubborn personality certainly didn't help. Regardless of whether the activity would actually be fun or rewarding, it took a large amount of willpower to engage. To illustrate, the top games video itself took about 15 hours to make, including getting the footage I needed. I could have started the first week of break, when Ducky gave me his footage, but it was two weeks before I touched any of it. And despite the hesitation, making it was fun, rewarding. I worked for the better part of two days and got it out and have gotten wonderful feedback and support from it.
So, then, where does Euro Truck come into any of this? Well, in my slump, I found comfort in single player games. To an extent, I can control my experience. Even though it was fun spending time with friends, it was draining. But Euro Truck? There's nothing but me and the road. Nobody to compete with, nothing particularly complicated about it.
It's important to note the difference between Euro Truck Simulator 2 and other "simulator" games. The biggest difference can be found in the title. It's called Euro Truck Simulator 2, and not something like Euro Truck Simulator 2015. In contrast to things like Woodcutting Simulator 2011, Agricultural Simulator 2011, or Crane Simulator 2009, this is a standalone game developed with an idea from the developers. While many shovelware simulator games are cash-grabs by a developer using reused assets to create a simple worthless game, developer SCS Software made a polished and focused game. While the main gameplay is fairly standard for what you'd expect, there's a sense of progression with a goal in mind. You're given options, you're given control.
This game itself is pretty basic, but when I play it, I feel like I'm at least doing something. It's a thing I can do to pass the time. Toss on an album, a podcast, some online videos, and get driving. I embrace the isolation I find myself in, and truck to occupy the time. It's something to do on my own for nobody else but myself. Sure, people can see that I put in around 20 hours in a week or whatever on my steam profile, but I don't have to play games for the satisfaction for the others. I can space out, enjoy whatever I'm listening to and won't have the guilt or dread of feeling "that I should be doing something."
Even though in the grand scope of things, I can see that my progress is all in my head and that I'm not doing anything, there's a sense of progression, accomplishment. I can feel like I'm slowly working towards some objectives, and that with every delivery I'm closer and closer. And that's really the root of it. Because whatever mess I've been dealing with in the day, I can at least find some serenity and satisfaction on the road in a simulated, miniaturized Europe.
Rock Band 4 Review
If you've been keeping up with the channel, or just myself in particular, you may have caught on that I quite like Rock Band. A lot. I've been known to say that Rock Band 3 is my favorite game of all time, and I'd still say it today WHOOPS spoiler alert!
Lemme run down the basics. Harmonix have pretty much pioneered the rhythm gaming genre into the juggernaut it is today, or rather what it was five years ago before everyone stopped giving a shit about plastic instruments. They were the kings of karaoke! From Karaoke Revolution to Guitar Hero to Rock Band, they were the biggest name in the music genre. Playing fake instruments was near unheard of, but now it's streamlined in a wonderful way. The games were fun and posed a decent level of challenge to those who wanted it. Like me.
Rock Band 3 was released in 2010 and was really good. They expanded upon their previous iteration, Rock Band 2, in some very good ways. The keytar addition was cool, even if not many people used it. The inclusion of the harmony vocals from the Beatles: Rock Band was great, and it allowed up to 7 people to play at once. That rarely happened too, but it was great fun when it did. They supported the series until 3 years later when they released their final DLC song, American Pie, in 2013. Rock band had a library of over 3000 songs then. But for all we knew, the rhythm gaming genre was over.
Until this year! Five years later, Harmonix are coming out with a brand new Rock Band game! I was hyped. I still tried to play Rock Band 3 on occasion, but now it'd be on the new systems, and there'd be no hassle. After having it for a week, I knew everything I needed to know.
And oh how I was disappointed.
Here's the thing. If you play Rock Band for fun at a friend's place? Yeah, you'll probably enjoy this one. Hell, I enjoy this one because I still like Rock Band. And this is just that, but with more an incentive to play it. But it's not Rock Band 3. Not even close.
Very soon I noticed that the setlist kind of sucks. For me, it's got about 6 songs that I really like. Most bands have better music than the songs they chose. Hell, most bands have better songs in previous games. Like, Spiders by System of a Down. Great song. Weird choice. Really, that in your party rock band game?
At least you can bring in your whole previous libraries, right? Nope. As of now, only about 1700 DLC songs are available in Rock Band 4. You can't import any previous disc games. You can't import anything from Rock Band Network. Will we be able to in the future? Maybe, but Harmonix felt this game was ready for release now.
So the setlist is a bit thin, but how about everything else? It's equally as thin. Things from Rock Band 3 were scrapped almost randomly. Why can we not see the note streak we had in the song? Why can we not see each section's breakdown? Why is there no online play? Why is there no practice mode? All of these were in games back to Guitar Hero 2. Which was released in 2006.
Yeah, but how does the game actually play? Well, as I said before, it's Rock Band. The formula hasn't strayed too much. A new feature they've been touting is the new "freestyling." For vocals, this means singing something that's not the melody but still getting points. It's actually pretty all right. It's annoying how finicky it is for it to fully register, but it's a nice idea and it's implemented pretty well. Drums fills have been replaced with "dynamic" fills, pre-made fills made for each genre. They all suck. They sound not good. I like the static fills, which they thankfully included, but you can lose your streak in them. But if you have the classic fills, you can't. And classic fills are impossible with the amount of lag needed to calibrate out.
And then there are the guitar freestyle solos. In a way, it's impressive that the game can interpret constant mashing and strumming to try and make it go along with the song, and if you're drunk with a bunch of friends, it can be pretty funny. But it doesn't sound good. It sounds waaaaay worse than the original solos they replace.
And yeah, all these things can be turned off, but the game likes to forget settings. Like, I never ever want mic volume. Not only is it unnecessary because I can already hear my own voice, there's a ridiculous delay which makes it impossible to deal with. And every time you start the game up, it forgets that. And when you sign in, you're automatically set to guest, at least on PS4. And with my old legacy instruments, you can't access the dashboard. That can only be done with the ps4 controller. And so every time you do that, it sets everyone back to guest for no reason whatsoever.
So is there anything I do like? Yeah, actually. The best thing about it is that they went back and gave all the old DLC harmonies. That's great. It's great that they did that. Now "Feeling This" by Blink-182 won't feel so strangely hollow. Hopefully we can see it for the rest of the songs.
They also added a new "play a show" mode. You play a song and then vote on the next one based on categories. It's varied enough for random selections, but it also gives the players enough control so that it's not frustrating. This is good.
But that's about it. As I've explained, most of the changes are bad. There are just too many things from Rock Band 3 that aren't in this game. The song selecting screen was cleaner and more helpful. Practice mode. Online play. Fucking note streaks! Yeah the spade challenges were pretty stupid, but at least the scores carry over, and when you have achievements like "5 star every song" and "get 1,000,000 points in a song," it's ridiculous that they must be in quickplay mode. Actively discouraging people for enjoying the best feature in the whole game. Why don't "show" and "career" scores translate to quickplay?
And when they were adding things, why didn't they add some of the cooler things that previous Guitar Hero games implemented, like playing notes while holding sustains?
This might be the most disappointed I've ever been in a game. It's not that bad, because Rock Band is still an inherently fun game to play and maybe get drunk to. But wow. This is way worse than Rock Band 3. Hell, it's worse than Rock Band 2 in some obvious respects. It's just the only way to play it on the newer systems.
At least it's better than Guitar Hero Live.
Lemme run down the basics. Harmonix have pretty much pioneered the rhythm gaming genre into the juggernaut it is today, or rather what it was five years ago before everyone stopped giving a shit about plastic instruments. They were the kings of karaoke! From Karaoke Revolution to Guitar Hero to Rock Band, they were the biggest name in the music genre. Playing fake instruments was near unheard of, but now it's streamlined in a wonderful way. The games were fun and posed a decent level of challenge to those who wanted it. Like me.
Rock Band 3 was released in 2010 and was really good. They expanded upon their previous iteration, Rock Band 2, in some very good ways. The keytar addition was cool, even if not many people used it. The inclusion of the harmony vocals from the Beatles: Rock Band was great, and it allowed up to 7 people to play at once. That rarely happened too, but it was great fun when it did. They supported the series until 3 years later when they released their final DLC song, American Pie, in 2013. Rock band had a library of over 3000 songs then. But for all we knew, the rhythm gaming genre was over.
Until this year! Five years later, Harmonix are coming out with a brand new Rock Band game! I was hyped. I still tried to play Rock Band 3 on occasion, but now it'd be on the new systems, and there'd be no hassle. After having it for a week, I knew everything I needed to know.
And oh how I was disappointed.
Here's the thing. If you play Rock Band for fun at a friend's place? Yeah, you'll probably enjoy this one. Hell, I enjoy this one because I still like Rock Band. And this is just that, but with more an incentive to play it. But it's not Rock Band 3. Not even close.
Very soon I noticed that the setlist kind of sucks. For me, it's got about 6 songs that I really like. Most bands have better music than the songs they chose. Hell, most bands have better songs in previous games. Like, Spiders by System of a Down. Great song. Weird choice. Really, that in your party rock band game?
At least you can bring in your whole previous libraries, right? Nope. As of now, only about 1700 DLC songs are available in Rock Band 4. You can't import any previous disc games. You can't import anything from Rock Band Network. Will we be able to in the future? Maybe, but Harmonix felt this game was ready for release now.
So the setlist is a bit thin, but how about everything else? It's equally as thin. Things from Rock Band 3 were scrapped almost randomly. Why can we not see the note streak we had in the song? Why can we not see each section's breakdown? Why is there no online play? Why is there no practice mode? All of these were in games back to Guitar Hero 2. Which was released in 2006.
Yeah, but how does the game actually play? Well, as I said before, it's Rock Band. The formula hasn't strayed too much. A new feature they've been touting is the new "freestyling." For vocals, this means singing something that's not the melody but still getting points. It's actually pretty all right. It's annoying how finicky it is for it to fully register, but it's a nice idea and it's implemented pretty well. Drums fills have been replaced with "dynamic" fills, pre-made fills made for each genre. They all suck. They sound not good. I like the static fills, which they thankfully included, but you can lose your streak in them. But if you have the classic fills, you can't. And classic fills are impossible with the amount of lag needed to calibrate out.
And then there are the guitar freestyle solos. In a way, it's impressive that the game can interpret constant mashing and strumming to try and make it go along with the song, and if you're drunk with a bunch of friends, it can be pretty funny. But it doesn't sound good. It sounds waaaaay worse than the original solos they replace.
And yeah, all these things can be turned off, but the game likes to forget settings. Like, I never ever want mic volume. Not only is it unnecessary because I can already hear my own voice, there's a ridiculous delay which makes it impossible to deal with. And every time you start the game up, it forgets that. And when you sign in, you're automatically set to guest, at least on PS4. And with my old legacy instruments, you can't access the dashboard. That can only be done with the ps4 controller. And so every time you do that, it sets everyone back to guest for no reason whatsoever.
So is there anything I do like? Yeah, actually. The best thing about it is that they went back and gave all the old DLC harmonies. That's great. It's great that they did that. Now "Feeling This" by Blink-182 won't feel so strangely hollow. Hopefully we can see it for the rest of the songs.
They also added a new "play a show" mode. You play a song and then vote on the next one based on categories. It's varied enough for random selections, but it also gives the players enough control so that it's not frustrating. This is good.
But that's about it. As I've explained, most of the changes are bad. There are just too many things from Rock Band 3 that aren't in this game. The song selecting screen was cleaner and more helpful. Practice mode. Online play. Fucking note streaks! Yeah the spade challenges were pretty stupid, but at least the scores carry over, and when you have achievements like "5 star every song" and "get 1,000,000 points in a song," it's ridiculous that they must be in quickplay mode. Actively discouraging people for enjoying the best feature in the whole game. Why don't "show" and "career" scores translate to quickplay?
And when they were adding things, why didn't they add some of the cooler things that previous Guitar Hero games implemented, like playing notes while holding sustains?
This might be the most disappointed I've ever been in a game. It's not that bad, because Rock Band is still an inherently fun game to play and maybe get drunk to. But wow. This is way worse than Rock Band 3. Hell, it's worse than Rock Band 2 in some obvious respects. It's just the only way to play it on the newer systems.
At least it's better than Guitar Hero Live.
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